Separation Support Blog

How to recognise a controlling person in yourself and others

Charlotte Lingard - Wednesday, March 22, 2017
How to recognise the signs of a controlling person

An unhealthy relationship almost always contains one lethal component;

• a controlling or dominating personality.

This causes an imbalance of power within the relationship.

Power within a relationship should be apportioned out in equal measure.

Whether it concerns finance, parenting issues or simply what film to watch on television.

Problems begin to occur when one party begins to make the majority or the entirety of all the decisions.

This then forms the essence of the relationship.

Here are some vital indications of a person with a controlling personality: -

• Not accepting responsibility in difficult situations. Finding creative ways to shift the blame back onto you the normal person.

• Persons who wear several different masks such as home, work and family masks. Very different sides of behaviour.

• Often distorting reality of situations to suit their objectives and desired outcomes using manipulative methods.

• Multiple personalities in one body.

• Controlling persons often play the victim. Any flaws associated with themselves are often justified by some sort of suffering.

• Pathological lying. Unable to tell the truth. They lie their way out of trouble.

• Spot and play on your weaknesses. Automatically you experience some form of guilt tripping, believing it was all your fault.

• Due to their manipulative methods, they intentionally pretend to love and help you. In reality they are creating a debt, so you will eventually become beholden to them to satisfy their needs.

• Constant interruptions during decision making conversations with you. Indifference and dismissal of your opinion over matters whether big and small.

• Evading issues that concern their own faults and changing the truth to suit their needs.

• Seldom answering questions directly causing you cognitive dissonance.

These behavioural signs can be at varying degrees of intensity and not an exhaustive list.

Manipulative and controlling persons are experts in psychological behaviour because of their own lack of feelings.

They learn how to behave by studying others and become experts in the role of manipulation.

You may be able to live in blissful ignorance of these behaviour traits if they are indeed that subtle.

Having an understanding and awareness of these characteristics is one step towards solving the problem.

Nevertheless, understanding the issues alone will not abolish the complexity of the predatory mind-set.

This is a unique kind of traumatic relationship with a person who has a psychological personality dichotomy disorder.

These persons are experts in using manipulative behaviour to achieve their own desired outcome.

The purpose of this type of behaviour is to change the perception of the reality of the situation.

These personality signs described above could be the catalyst that tears you apart.

The controlling person can become a wounded animal due to their predator mind-set.

The purpose being to make you disbelieve the truth and change the situation to suit their needs and objective.

This can escalate to violent or abusive behaviour towards you.

This can then become the beginning of the end.

The normal person subjected to the dissonant mental behaviour starts to understand the reality of the situation.

The normal person needs to find the strength to leave the relationship, become stronger, or live with the behavioural characteristics traits of a predator.

You are not mad; your partner is not mad. The dysfunctional behaviour traits associated with living with someone who has a controlling and manipulative personality disorder is extremely mentally exhausting, if you are the normal person.

We as individuals are not mentally prepared to hold two differing belief systems at the same time. It creates internal conflict.

A normal mind-set wants to be in a harmonious and balanced relationship. Living with a person with two personae

(split personality characteristics) is extremely difficult and challenging.

It is an optical illusion.

Some normal persons in this kind of relationship delay the inevitable by trying to understand and probably blaming themselves.

This of course is playing into the hands of the person with the personality disorder.

At the end of the relationship the person with the split personality often escalates their behaviour and violence towards the normal person.

So, the game is up and we move on.

Specialist trained counsellors in this area who understands the needs and sensitivity of the situation is advisable.

Share this post

Prediksi Bola commented on 14-Jul-2018 05:59 PM
You have probably encounter this information when you desire to use your personal computer plus your web connection to try to develop [url="" rel="dofollow" title="Prediksi Bola" target="_blank"]Prediksi Bola[/url].
Free Auto Approve List 7-15-2018 commented on 16-Jul-2018 02:39 AM
I hope you all are having a great weekend. I added a new list. This one is smaller, but still useful. I think the next one will be bigger.
Judi Poker commented on 18-Jul-2018 11:10 AM
i love this post! i read your blog fairly and your always coming out with some great stuff i shared this on my facebook and my follower love it !Keep it up
how do i make my penis grow bigger commented on 22-Jul-2018 02:11 AM
I all the time used to read piece of writing in news papers but
now as I am a user of web therefore from now I
am using net for articles or reviews, thanks to web.
Jordan commented on 22-Jul-2018 08:58 AM
Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Taking the time and actual effort to generate a top notch article...

but what can I say... I put things off a whole lot and don't manage to get anything done.

Also visit my blog :: Free Relationship Help Hotline
Lurlene commented on 22-Jul-2018 01:23 PM
I got this site from my pal who informed me about this website and now this time I am visiting this web site and reading very informative posts here.

Feel free to surf to my site:Better Personal Habits
hotな情報満載!薬剤師転職に特化したサイト[薬剤師転職ライブラリー]公式サイト commented on 23-Jul-2018 11:38 PM
Respect to website author , some wonderful entropy.
Francis commented on 26-Jul-2018 02:19 AM
I need to to thank you for this wonderful read!!
I absolutely loved every little bit of it. I have got you bookmarked to look at new stuff you post?

Look into my homepage -relationship Counsellor
Guy commented on 29-Jul-2018 04:29 AM
Aw, this was an extremely nice post. Taking the time and actual effort to create a top notch article...
but what can I say... I hesitate a lot and never seem to get nearly anything done.

assassin's creed origins торрент commented on 02-Aug-2018 01:44 AM
I dugg some of you post as I thought they were very beneficial invaluable commented on 02-Aug-2018 03:49 PM
It's very straightforward to find out any topic on web as compared to textbooks, as I found this paragraph at this site.
songs about rekindled love commented on 05-Aug-2018 12:30 AM
I recall exactly this effect when we noticed these songs on spotify.
Katrice commented on 05-Aug-2018 04:48 AM
Hello, I think your web site could be having internet browser compatibility problems.

Whenever I take a look at your web site in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in I.E., it has some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to give you a quick heads up! Apart from that, fantastic website!

Also visit my webpage ...Classifiedsadsnow.Online
Louie Oveson commented on 08-Aug-2018 09:00 AM
GuadalupeJuicy commented on 15-Aug-2018 06:40 PM
Hello. I see that you don't update your blog too often. I know that writing
content is time consuming and boring. But did
you know that there is a tool that allows you to create new posts using existing content (from article directories or other
pages from your niche)? And it does it very well.
The new articles are high quality and pass the copyscape test.
You should try miftolo's tools
Free auto approve list 8-9-2018 commented on 25-Aug-2018 04:49 PM
I’ve been having issues with my Windows hosting. It has set me back quite a bit while making the next list. This is the current list that I have. I should add another list in less than a week. I’ll let you all know when the next list is ready. Thank you for your patience.
cash for cars commented on 31-Aug-2018 08:15 AM
I have been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used sex love this blog. Thank you, I will try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your site?
cash for cars commented on 31-Aug-2018 09:19 PM
hi!,I love your writing very a lot! proportion we keep in touch more approximately your article on AOL? I require a specialist in this area to resolve my problem. Maybe that is you! Taking a look ahead to look you.
cash for cars commented on 01-Sep-2018 06:04 AM
I went over this internet site and I conceive you have a lot of good info, saved sex favorites (:.
cash for cars commented on 01-Sep-2018 06:18 AM
It's truly a nice and useful piece of information. I am satisfied that you shared this helpful info with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
cash for cars commented on 01-Sep-2018 09:45 AM
Merely wanna remark on few general things, The porn design is perfect, the subject material is very fantastic : D.
cash for cars commented on 01-Sep-2018 12:59 PM
You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic sex be actually something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me. I'm looking forward for your next post, I’ll try sex get the hang of it!
TorstenJuicy commented on 04-Sep-2018 01:31 PM
Hi. I see that you don't update your page too often. I
know that writing posts is time consuming and boring.
But did you know that there is a tool that allows
you to create new articles using existing content (from article directories or other blogs from your niche)?
And it does it very well. The new posts are unique and pass the copyscape test.
Search in google and try: miftolo's tools
오바마카지노 commented on 04-Sep-2018 11:25 PM
Roulette has more complicated rules than slots or online scratchcards, so players must get familiar with them beforehand.
Now if you want to win real money and you also don't want to download
you must first look for land based bingo hall without any near your home
you always have the net facility to deal with the bingo gaming experience.
Few companies ensure that it stays well within USD$100 while the limit can vary for other companies as worst part occurs when you've been able to hit the
bull's eyes of a jackpot that is of a excellent amount but as you are
playing inside the category of "no deposit casino bonus", you won't
be entitled to the entire winning amount but you can enjoy merely a part of it.
moz commented on 06-Sep-2018 05:45 AM
An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a
coworker who has been conducting a little homework on this.
And he in fact ordered me dinner because I discovered it
for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thanks for the meal!!
But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss this
issue here on your web site.

Post a Comment

Captcha Image

Trackback Link
Post has no trackbacks.

About Separation Support

Our Details

Quick Links

Separation Support Guide

Separation Support is a free to access independent web portal for people going through separation (separators).  Our aim is providing “separators” with necessary support and information which is unbiased to help you consider all the implications that may arise from your separation.  You may need to consider legal, financial and emotional matters.  We can signpost you to the correct expert in their chosen field.

1 Hardman Boulevard



M3 3AQ

Entrepreneurial Spark Logo powered by Natwest

We're so glad you found us. You'll find lots of free help and advice on dealing with separation in our guide.

©Copyright Separation Support Ltd/ Separation Help CIC UK - All Rights Reserved.

Terms & Conditions.  Cookie and Privacy Policies.