Separation Support Blog

Choosing to be happy

Charlotte Lingard - Wednesday, January 18, 2017

My family history

 

This is my background. I am the founder of Separation Help.  My name is Charlotte Lingard.

 

I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters and a Mother aged 93, still kicking! My siblings and my mother are all far superior to me, according to them. “Char has no brain; she is thick”.

My family, except for my father, who sadly is no longer with us, have always been verbally abusive.  “Stupid is as stupid does.” Even today they retort constantly their belief to each other!

 

 

Thankfully, I left home at aged 11, (photo of Howell’s School, Denbigh). According to my family, Char and Winnie the Pooh, have a lot in common.

“The Bear of Very Little Brain”.

 

 

My family home

 

Woodside was the family home. The excessive competitiveness between my brothers and sisters regarding wealth and material possessions was a “rut.”  The only difference between a “rut” and a “grave” is the dimensions. We as a family (except my father) talked about money EVERY day, without stopping; money, money and then more money conversations.

 

“Don’t make money your goal.  Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you”  -  Mary Angelou.

 

Life is an illusion. I can recall vividly how my brothers and sisters made me feel that I am not worth much at all.  Cruel words eat away at your own self-belief and confidence.  One’s family view of you whether it be right or wrong, if heard repeatedly, brands itself onto your own self-belief of who you are. You become that person. Don’t let others determine your feelings or your future happiness.

 

Aristotle wrote, “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence”.

 

 

Trust yourself, know yourself

 

 There is only one person you should never fool, and that is yourself.  Cruel words eat away at your own self-belief and confidence.  Relationships, of course, have ups and the occasional downs.  But you are in control of your own mind and it is your experience that translates everything which is within your own mind and thoughts.  Therefore, choose to be happy.

 

 

Divorced in 2011

 

 

If you live to be a 100,
I hope I live to
Be 100 minus 1 day
So I never have to
Live without you.

Winnie the Pooh

 

 

Life is far better now after divorce. At the time of separation, it was a roller coaster of emotions, positive and negative, akin to a “tsunami “of emotional turmoil.  

I never thought that I would ever get divorced or separated from my husband after 30 years of marriage.  I believed that marriage was for life, for better or for worse.  I hadn’t planned this life change. I chose happiness, for myself and for my children with self-awareness of my past and present circumstances which has achieved miraculous results and jubilation!

 

 

What I learnt during the last four years

 

Life is an illusion and your mind is reality.  Your thoughts and feelings create your own reality.
It is important to look backwards so you can understand with awareness how to live your life looking forward by understanding the past.  Some people in your life might distort the reality and  true facts to suit their own reality (needs).

When you face a humongous decision,
the best thing you can do is the right thing.
The next best thing is the wrong thing.
The worst thing you can do is nothing!

Acknowledge your distress and your emotional turmoil.  Don’t blame yourself or others. Choose your new friends carefully based upon past experiences and re-invent yourself.

The positive of an emotionally abusive up-bringing for myself is;

 

Thank you to my bullying, aggressive siblings who have taught me that abusive behaviour is unacceptable.  I will push forward teaching others that learning from your past experiences can make you stronger.  The past doesn’t need to equal the future.  Understanding your past really helps if you choose to view the past and believe in your future with a positive outlook.

Share this post

Comments
Jane commented on 23-Jan-2017 12:33 PM
Great Post!
Ruth commented on 23-Jan-2017 12:34 PM
Well written article.
Liz commented on 23-Jan-2017 12:40 PM
Excellent read.
Hannah commented on 23-Jan-2017 12:41 PM
Good stuff.
Noella commented on 22-Jun-2017 01:03 AM
Hello, i think that i saw you visited my website thus i came to “return the favor”.I am trying
to find things to enhance my site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!
chanceecyu382.fitnell.com commented on 27-Jun-2017 10:32 AM
Very descriptive blog, I enjoyed that bit. Will there be a part 2?
lgbt shirt commented on 28-Jun-2017 07:56 AM
magnificent issues altogether, you just received a emblem new reader.

What could you recommend in regards to your post that you made a few days ago?

Any certain?
payday loans commented on 29-Jun-2017 07:48 PM
Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long as I provide credit and
sources back to your site? My blog is in the exact same niche as yours and my visitors would definitely
benefit from a lot of the information you present here.
Please let me know if this alright with you.
Regards!
payday loans commented on 30-Jun-2017 04:01 AM
Hey are using Wordpress for your blog platform? I'm new to the blog
world but I'm trying to get started and set up my own. Do you require any coding expertise to make your own blog?
Any help would be greatly appreciated!
feminist t shirt mauritius commented on 02-Jul-2017 03:16 AM
I am sure this paragraph has touched all the internet viewers, its really really pleasant post
on building up new website.
quickbooks online support hours commented on 06-Aug-2017 11:52 PM
When you need the best QuickBooks error assist for resolving
QuickBooks printer issues, all you might want to do is to get in contact with a 3rd social gathering technical assist service providing
company having a useful experience in the tech assist industry.
86Lucile commented on 13-Aug-2017 06:02 AM
I see you don't monetize your site, don't waste your traffic, you can earn extra cash every month because you've got hi quality
content. If you want to know what is the best adsense alternative,
type in google: adsense alternative Mertiso's tips
webevolution.biz commented on 09-Sep-2017 04:01 PM
I'm gone to inform my little brother, that he should also ggo to see
this weblog on regular basis to obtain updated from most up-to-date news update.
agen judi bola commented on 07-Nov-2017 08:24 AM
I used to be able to find good advice from your articles.
agen togel singapura commented on 09-Nov-2017 01:11 AM
Very good blog you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same
topics discussed here? I'd really love to be a part of group where I can get suggestions from other experienced people that share the same
interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know.
Cheers!
gas em osasco commented on 25-Dec-2017 06:17 PM
Botijão - Possuem 13kg de gás de cozinha. http://world-flying.com/comment/html/?62586.html
situs judi online terbesar commented on 21-Jan-2018 11:14 AM
I enjoy you because of all of your labor on this blog.
Betty really loves doing investigation and it is easy
to understand why. A lot of people notice all concerning the compelling
mode you render efficient strategies through your blog and therefore cause participation from other
individuals about this area and our own simple princess is really becoming educated a
great deal. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the year.

You're the one performing a splendid job.[X-N-E-W-L-I-N-S-P-I-N-X]I
am extremely inspired together with your writing talents as smartly as with the structure
on your blog. Is this a paid subject matter or did you customize it your self?
Either way stay up the excellent quality writing, it's rare
to peer a nice blog like this one today.
Agen domino commented on 21-Jan-2018 03:00 PM
I want to to thank you for this good read!! I definitely loved
every little bit of it. I have you saved as a favorite to look at new stuff you post...
sabung ayam commented on 21-Jan-2018 03:51 PM
Thanks for any other informative site. Where else may I get that type of info written in such an ideal way?
I have a undertaking that I am simply now operating on, and I've been at the glance out
for such info.
qq 99 commented on 21-Jan-2018 07:16 PM
I gotta favorite this internet site it seems invaluable extremely helpful.
kasino online commented on 21-Jan-2018 11:40 PM
Very well written information. It will be helpful to anyone
who usess it, as well as me. Keep up the good work - for sure i
will check out more posts.
togel Online terpercaya commented on 22-Jan-2018 12:47 AM
each time i used to read smaller articles or reviews that
as well clear their motive, and that is also happening with
this article which I am reading at this time.
poker Id commented on 22-Jan-2018 03:16 AM
Very instructive and fantastic anatomical structure of content, now
that's user pleasant (:.
Domino qq Online uang asli commented on 22-Jan-2018 05:26 PM
Hi, i think that i saw you visited my weblog so
i came to ?return the favor?.I am attempting to find
things to enhance my site!I suppose its ok to use some of
your ideas!!
Judi bola Online Terbaik commented on 22-Jan-2018 07:29 PM
Thanks for a marvelous posting! I seriously enjoyed reading it, you're a great author.I will ensure that
I bookmark your blog and will come back at some point.
I want to encourage that you continue your great job, have a nice afternoon!

Post a Comment




Captcha Image

Trackback Link
http://www.separationsupport.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?BlogID=11221&PostID=634930&A=Trackback
Trackbacks
Post has no trackbacks.

About Separation Support

Our Details

Quick Links

Separation Support Guide

Separation Support is a free to access independent web portal for people going through separation (separators).  Our aim is providing “separators” with necessary support and information which is unbiased to help you consider all the implications that may arise from your separation.  You may need to consider legal, financial and emotional matters.  We can signpost you to the correct expert in their chosen field.

1 Hardman Boulevard

Spinningfields

Manchester

M3 3AQ

 

charlotte@separationhelp.co.uk

Entrepreneurial Spark Logo powered by Natwest

We're so glad you found us. You'll find lots of free help and advice on dealing with separation in our guide.

©Copyright Separation Support Ltd/ Separation Help CIC UK - All Rights Reserved.

Terms & Conditions.  Cookie and Privacy Policies.